I'm working on it

I have this problem where I think about blogging, start to blog, and then as I'm writing feel like my post isn't going to be interesting enough so I just abandon it. There are nearly 10 half-written blog drafts that are seemingly going to just sit there eternally unfinished. I think know I put entirely too much pressure on myself and am most definitely my worst critic (aren't we all?), but I really am trying to put that behind me. I'm in the midst of attempting an overhaul of my life. I've felt so out of balance since I started my new job and I'm really struggling to find some type of happy medium. 

The most ridiculous part of my life that is "oh-so-off-kilter" is really that on most days, I work a combined total of about 5.5 hours between both my jobs. That's it. Five and a half measly little hours. Which sounds like an enviable piece of cake, but since they are a couple hours (and about 25 miles) apart, it's not as easy as working one solid block of time. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful to have both of my jobs, I just need to figure out how to make it all work. And I also need to come to the sad realization that the amount of time I'm used to spending with Boyfriend/the amount of time I like to spend with Boyfriend, far exceeds the national average. But what can I say? I'm greedy and head over heels in love with the most amazing boy ever so it's kind of hard to NOT want to spend immense amounts of time with him. 

Boyfriend and I have been carpooling to work together lately. My afternoon job is in the same city where he works, and we both start at the same time, the only difference is I get off between 6-7ish and he stays into the wee hours of the night, which means I usually don't hang out there waiting for him to get off. Instead I take the train and then the L home, which takes about an hour and a half. I just bring a book and use that time to read and unwind, but it usually means I don't end up getting home until after 9. And by that time I feel like the night is nearly over and I reside myself to an evening of procrastination and moping. That is the part of my day that I need to change. The more productive I am on the week nights before Boyfriend gets home, the more free time we have on the weekends. And it's not like we are disgusting people who live in a dump, but it's easy to let things get a bit cluttered when we're feeling busy (lately I just can't seem to ever complete laundry in a timely manner) so that coupled with the fact that we live in a very old house that always needs something done to it means it's easy for a little old weakling like myself to feel overwhelmed and just shut down. Again, I'm working on that. 

I also need to find the right time/way to fit exercising back into my schedule. By now when I get home from my second job, it's usually too late to go running by myself since the sun is setting earlier than it was over summer. And as anyone who struggles with motivating themselves to work out can relate to, it's nearly impossible to make myself get up early enough before work to go running. It's really my only option though so I just have to stop making excuses and start doing it if I want to lose those 4 of 8 lost pounds that have recently returned :/

So all of that in a very large nutshell, is my explanation for why I suck at life blogging lately. And again, I'm working on it.

In other news, my morning job as a Reading Interventionist is going extremely well. I pretty much love everything about it. And my side duty as a Playground Supervisor is growing on me as well. The weather has been pretty amazing lately and it's so nice to be able to spend time outside, though I'm sure I'll be singing a completely different tune once December rolls around since they actually allow the children to go outside and play in the snow during recess. As someone who comes from the Land of Nearly Eternal Summer (aka, Southern California), I personally consider snow to be an inclement weather condition which should be avoided at all costs, with a small exception for sledding, because sledding is THE ONLY good thing about Winter. But here at the North Pole, recess in the snow is the norm so I will undoubtedly be buying myself one of those floor length winter coats, haha. Overall though, I love the school, the staff is great, the building itself is beautiful and well appointed, and with such a fantastically diverse student population, not only am I learning a lot about other cultures, I almost feel like I'm back home :) 

My afternoon job is great, too. The girls are in 4th and 7th grades this year. It's fun watching the older one try to gain more independence. And the younger one is such a phenomenal student that it blows my mind. She actually came home on Friday wanting to study for a test that was a week away! She loves exploring problems and has a great ability to recall detail. It also doesn't hurt that she's in my favorite grade to teach this year so when homework comes home, she enjoys hearing about when I taught my class that concept/story/idea. We went in search of a Junior Girl Scout sash last week and ended up at a local school supply store that carries them. We looked around the whole store at all of the deliciously fun borders, books, classroom organization aides, and whatnot and it definitely made me long for my own classroom. I do have my own classroom at work now and hopefully once my reading groups actually start (now that I've finished my assessments), I'll be able to get some classroom decoration goin on in there. I told my 4th grader that when I get a real classroom of my own someday, (I'm aiming for the 12-13 school year!) that she is more than welcome to come help me set it up. She was so excited. I'm thankful to have such great kids to work with :)

With all that said, I think it's time I get off the couch and go tackle those three piles of laundry that are looking at me, just itching to be folded. Send me positive thoughts as I attempt to find balance in my new little life. And hopefully I'll be back to writing on a regular basis soon. I'm working on it :)